What I Learnt From Twenty One

I feel like I've just blinked and suddenly it's August twelfth again and I'm telling everyone how important it is to celebrate me and the fact that I exist!

Twenty one was one hell of a learning curve for me. I know I'm going to say that pretty much every year until I die, or you know, stop caring (whichever comes first), but I really feel like I've emerged from the grips of the past year stronger, better, faster, stronger (hands down the best Kanye song ever, can I just say).

But you know what's great about aging? (Besides being able to complain about loud noises and tutting whenever a youth is within your vicinity) Wisdom. You get chucked in right at the deep end when adult life begins, but once you get over the initial shock of being in ice-cold shark infested waters, you gradually learn how to stay afloat and keep your head above the water. Am I queen of the metaphor? Potentially. So here's a little round up of what I think the last twelve months taught me:

1. Adults actually don't have it figured out. Every single person you know is without a doubt, winging it.


2. There's a difference between making a living and making a life. I just haven't quite mastered it yet.


3. How amazing it is to witness all my friends succeeding at what they love.


4. Not everyone is out to get you. But some occasionally some people are.


5. The importance of finishing a day and being done with it.


6. How truly lucky I am, despite (what feels like) constant setbacks.


7. It doesn't matter where you are, if you order sparkling water, you is fancy.


8. People won't understand why you're saving for a rainy day, until that rainy day happens.


9. I may no longer be in education, but learning new things is more important than ever.


10. Prosecco is the blood given unto us by the Greek Gods.


11. You're allowed to scream, you're allowed to cry, you're allowed to swear; but you are never allowed to give up.


12. You are far stronger than you will ever give yourself credit for.

Here's to the next jam-packed 363 days!
~ Eleanor xo

What I like about being an Adult

I talk about being an adult a lot, I know. I'm not one-hundred-percent sure why that is; maybe because I've lived such a sheltered life up until this point and I'm slowly discovering the world and it's all a bit overwhelming, but who can be sure. It's almost definitely because of that.

But I'm enjoying myself nonetheless. And here's a list as to why (because I also like a good list):

1. I can paint my nails without asking my mum's permission. I was never allowed to have painted nails while I was at school...
2. I don't always have to eat my vegetables. And no, dear parents, I shall not go to bed hungry, I shall scoff my face with coco-pops when you've gone to bed.
3. I have a savings account with actual money in it. I've no idea what I'm saving for but I'm sure I'll be pleased as punch when I find out what it is.
4. I can wear as little or as much make up each day as I so choose. Choosing to wear none and look like I'm at deaths door is sometimes a decision I regret.
5. WEEKENDS. Now I live an adult life I can enjoy that weird concept of a weekend where you can go out and do whatever the hell you want hells yeah because essays and homework and a thing of the past!
6. The thing where you drive to meetings that are over a hundred miles away and getting to make it all back via expenses.
7. I can do whatever I want with and/or to my hair. My mum always tells me that I look "much more grown up" with shorter hair, but I absolutely despise having it shorter than shoulder length so we on a non-stop train to rebellious-hood.
8. CANDLES. ALL OF THE CANDLES ALL OF THE TIME. And if I happen to burn down the house, then the fault rests solely on my shoulders...
9. Knowing I could buy any kind of travel ticket and run off somewhere. Not that I have. But I can.
10. Knowing that I possess the power to actively choose a gluten free lifestyle. And equally knowing that that's a ridiculous and totally stupid idea.
11. Having the ability to drink an alcoholic beverage to 'take the edge off' after a hard day. 
12. Drinking caffeine and having no fear that your heart might explode (unlike when I tried Pepsi for the first time as a kid and I thought I was dying).
13. You can buy a diary and fill it full of actual real life appointments and events.

Here's to paying bills and getting drunk!
~ Eleanor xo

Things that happen at Christmas when you're an adult

If you want to get technical about it, I have in fact been experiencing Christmas as an adult for the last three years. However, I've spent those three years depending on a teeny student loan while living it large at University, so I'm making the bold decision to discount those as 'adult years'. Now though, my bank deems me financially stable enough to receive their complimentary travel insurance, so alas, there is no denying that adulthood is well and truly here.

Still, complimentary European-only travel insurance doesn't really do much for an adult at Christmas...

1. You wake up early not from excitement, but from your body clock thinking it's a work day.
2. It's hard to be enthusiastic when your system is caffeine free.
3. You're way more excited to give presents than receive them because you've totally bossed your gifts this year.
4. 85% of the presents you receive are pajamas, skincare and candles. And you are pleased as punch.
5. You realise that you could in fact eat chocolate for breakfast without asking your parents permission. The thought is rebelliously tantalising.
6. You decide to eat chocolate for breakfast and immediately regret it.
7. You do not stop eating all day, but you're sure this level of food consumption used to be easier when you were a child.
8. You start to feel a bit icky being in your pjs past eleven.
9. Sitting cross legged on the floor to open presents seems like a good idea until you realise you probably won't be able to stand up again.
10. You actually want to send thank you notes.
11. A message written in a Christmas card makes you tear up.
12. You miss the days when you didn't hang off the end of your parents bed while opening your stocking.
13. Seeing Boxing Day sale furniture adverts on television and wondering why this is still a thing.
14. Getting a selection pack is too amazing for words.
15. Reacting to presents only gets more difficult.
16. Drinking Buck's Fizz before you're even dressed.
17. Still using NORAD to track Santa because obvs.
18. There is a family argument and it is cataclysmic. 
19. You count down the minutes until the Downton Abbey Christmas Special.
20. Your entire family stays in the same room for hours at a time and you aren't sure what to do because this never happens.
21. That one present that makes you wonder who this person thinks you are.
22. Trying to reply to a "Merry Christmas" group text before all the other generic greetings are taken.
23. Reminiscing about that time when winter sales started in-stores on Boxing Day... while filling your online cart on the afternoon of Christmas Day.
24. Considering the size of an army you could assemble and keep well-fed using only the vast amount of chocolate you've received.
25. Not worrying about how awful the weather is outside because you probably won't be leaving your house until 2016.
26. Trying to be tactful when suggesting what you want to watch on TV.
27. Your Facebook feed is full of engagement announcements and baby's first Christmases. It's weird.
28. You yearn for the days when you received a stack of CDs. You regret the yearning because it makes you feel about a thousand years old.
29. You stalk all the Kardashian's Instagrams because you don't know why.
30. Looking forward to days of all Turkey everything.

I hope you guys all had a marvelous Christmas (and that it wasn't too socially awkward...).

~ Eleanor xo

Signs You May've Hit Premature Middle Age

I've thought long and hard about the content of this post over the past week (in between searching for the perfect fruity spelt cake recipe, that is) and I've come to the conclusion that this intro, while completely honest, is absolutely not going to help my case. Oh how I wish I could interrupt with a "psych! I'm just messing!", but sadly this is neither a lie, nor a scene created for the audience's entertainment. It is my life.

It isn't exactly a huge shock to me, but the more I think about it, the more it slowly sinks in that I am indeed a middle aged woman stuck inside a twenty-one year old's body. Here is some evidence I've gathered that causes me to doubt my millennial heritage:

1. You have a budgeting app on your phone that you absolutely swear by
Look, it means I can sleep soundly at night knowing I have underspent on this month's petrol budget by a WHOLE ENTIRE two pounds fifty. If you're wondering (or in need of a trusty finance app yourself), I use OnTrees.

2. You're super into stocks and shares
Hells to the yeah do I own shares in a telecoms company and hells to the yeah am I now digging it. Admittedly, my stake in the company is minuscule but it's got me seriously thinking about future investments. AND I've now found a use for that annoying-as-eff Stocks app that comes with your iPhone.

3. You've vowed to become an ambassador for wildlife
I'm sorry, but there's only so many woodland creatures you can see dead on the side of the road before you decide you need to take action. Don't even talk to me about that time I saw a fallen fawn. And we all know about my teeny obsession with hedgehogs.

4. You want your out-of-work hobby to be flower arranging
Well, I've got to kick-start my train to Dutch-tulip-farm-ownership somewhere. (Also, every day I drive past a shop called 'Autumn Leaves Florist' and it fills me with joy).

5. You now drink tea after never touching the stuff before 
And your preferred choice is Darjeeling. Loose leaf Darjeeling. I just.

6. You shop at Gap
I bloomin' love Gap; their cotton shirts are so comfortable I could fall asleep in them, their jeans are the nokia of the denim world because they last an age and their colour palette is so gorge it makes my mouth water.

7. You have different candles for different times of the day
I own so many candles that I now have a sort of candle schedule. Morning is reserved for fresh, fruity and floraly scents, come afternoon we transition into warm shea butter and all things snuggly, until evening rolls around and we say hello to lavender (as this encourages restful sleep). I'm aware I need help.

8. You check the time on your watch, not your smartphone
I woke up one day and without realising, I became this. Lord have mercy on my iPhone.

9. You've started gravitating towards 'Ideal Homes' and 'Country Living' magazines
I do not own a home, nor do I live in the countryside, but these magazines are just so adorable and some of those DIYs are the things of Pinterest-filled dreams!

10. You're into gardening
I currently own a quadrant of cacti, a Wonderflower, two different types of mint herbs and five succulents. And no social life.

11. You start googling things like "when is plum season?" and "how to make rye bread rise"
In case you're wondering, plum season is May through October and you should probably mix normal wholemeal bread flour into your rye flour to help give it some oomph. You're welcome.

12. You have an uncontrollable desire to bake things even though you can't cook to save your life
I made my own spelt cake this weekend and flipping loved it! See also previous post where I blogged about making blackberry compote from home grown blackberries. I mean.

13. You see youths canoodling in the street and feel positively outraged
Excuse me but can you touch each others behind's on your own time?

*Gulp* Someone pass me a drink.
~ Eleanor xo

What I got for my Birthday

Disclaimer: This post is in no way boastful (that aint me) but it's purely here because I love reading posts like this. Please don't hate me.

Marc by Marc Jacobs - Classic Q Fran bag | Nails Inc Gift Set | True Grace 'Seashore' Scented Candle [here] | iPhone Windshield Mount | Novelty 21 Champagne Glass | Bottle of Cava | 'Better Latte Than Never' Mug | Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers | Ray Ban Light Ray Wayfarers (Blue Mirror) [here] | Accessorize Elephant Friendship Bracelet | Personalised Photo Squares | Starbucks Vanilla Coffee Syrup | Selfie Stick (Pink) | Lindt Chocolate | 'Shea Butter' Yankee Candle | Sterling Silver T-Bone Necklace | Global Escape Tahiti Shower Cream | Stella & Dot wishing bracelet | Interflora Bouquet [picture]

Birthdays! What glorious things they are; a whole twenty-four hours dedicated to you and the fact that people are so thrilled that you exist that they buy you things and write you heartfelt messages. Kudos to whichever greetings card company came up with that idea.

I was well and truly spoilt this year; my parents gave me a laughable mix of gifts which all made me smile like a chesire cat. An in-car mount for my iPhone (necessary), a selfie stick (more for their enjoyment, I think), a scented candle I've been lusting over for far too long, and Wayfarer Light Ray's that I fell in love with the moment I saw them. My sister really threw the boat out and surprised me this absolutely beautiful Marc Jacobs Classic Q Fran shoulder bag that I am uhhhhbsessed with (this colour is bae).

My university friends each made me super emotional by proving how well they know me (like, spookily well) and I am still so moved by how sweet they all are - that mug though: me summed up in four words. Hilare.

And a special shout-out to my neighbours for giving me a pound for all the years I've been alive. Pounds as in British money, not pounds as in weight. Can you imagine gaining twenty-one pounds on your birthday? Well... if you follow me on Instagram, you'll see that I practically almost did...

~ Eleanor xo

Twenty One

Hola amigos! I am officially twenty-one years of age and I one-hundred-and-twenty-one per cent refuse to believe it. I will forever be twenty. Or nineteen. Or just plain sixteen. This whole adult thing just isn't for me so I'm going to have to decline your offer. In the words of Deborah Meaden, "I'm out".

But let's rewind. My day began with me throwing open my laptop at 8am sharp, poised, ready and frankly pooing myself over what was to be the anti-climatic 'A' reveal. All my fellow PLLers know what I'm saying. Still, I knew the day could only get better. Which it did, with my mum appearing with a pink velvet cake (yes, really) which she decreed I could eat for breakfast as I drank my coffee and opened my presents. So exhilarating.

I was so overwhelmed by the generosity and thoughtfulness of the gifts and cards I received (I'm a bit of a sap like that). And to top it all off, that afternoon, my possey my parents, my sister and I headed to the Aviator Hotel in Farnborough for what was to be the most beastly champagne afternoon tea ever created. It was insanely good; the food was gorgeous, the champagne extra bubbly and the tea expertly picked... but I probably won't need to eat again until at least November. Actual #FoodComa.

Even though old age is terrifying, I had the best day celebrating and I'm super excited for the future and what the next year has in store. Here's to twenty-one!
~ Eleanor xo

More birthday themed posts (and lots of afternoon tea pics) will be up soon. 
In the meantime, here's what I've learnt during my twenty-one years so far...

So where do you see yourself after university?

Today I managed to avoid attending a 'goal mapping' workshop held by my university, where I'm guessing they encourage you to map out your life goals. If that isn't the case then I suggest they consider renaming it because otherwise that's very misleading.

My main man, Troy, gets it. Also, is this where my obsession with boys in v-necks started?

Goal mapping? GOAL. MAPPING?! I can't even envision where I'm going to be next Tuesday, let alone in five years time. Who needs a life plan when you're able to function each day by doing laundry when you run out of underwear, can live off pasta and strange concoctions of things you find in your fridge until you can motivate yourself into going to the supermarket and watch videos of Jennifer Lawrence on Youtube when you're feeling sad. Fear not, university lecturers, I've got this. No I will not uncross my fingers.

And excuse me, but I've just weathered my way through three weeks of "So what year of university are you in now? THIRD YEAR?! Gosh, well hasn't that gone fast, I thought you were only in your second year! So what is it that you hope to do after?". This is usually where I seize up and contemplate faking a choking fit so I can avoid answering. Instead I have to force a small laugh and say "hopefully find a job". You'd think that would satisfy them but no, for some reason every single person remotely related to me feels the need to ask "do you have any idea where you'd like to work?". Well obviously not! If I can't choose which scented candle I want to buy next, how do you expect me to know where I want to work for the rest of my life? And then all of a sudden it's totally unacceptable to reply "well, somewhere that'll pay me money!". The truth is dropped. Cue end of conversation. Cue me wiping my brow with my jumper sleeve where numerous beads of sweat have appeared. Exit stage left.

Just this morning I was sitting absentmindedly in bed enjoying my breakfast and 'Elders React to Anaconda' (hilare video, please watch it), when I began choking on my Shredded Wheat. I'm talking full on, eyes streaming, can't breath, retching, pain, agony, certain death, choking. And all I could think was "I knew the coco-pop craving I woke up with was telling me something". Listen to your heart, kids, otherwise you'll choke. Apparently. (I am going to be the world's best mother, I know).

Still, I found it highly ironic that I woke up being all like, "ain't nobody got time for life spoilers, ride the waves, go with the flow, always wear clean underwear, life is what you make it!!!!!" and then I basically nearly died. Just a normal day, really.

The truth is, I know exactly where I want to be in the end. In a gorge country house with a thousand Yankee candles burning all at once, a custom made coffee syrup storage-cupboard in my kitchen and the Ferrari I drove in 2013 sitting in my driveway. JK Rowling will release a new series of books about a far more interesting Potter who took the advertising/PR/social media world by storm and finally dyed her hair a majestic golden-honey colour. I will be content in my life because I will have eventually worn down my husband into agreeing to re-enact the 'gotta go my own way' scene from High School Musical 2. My children will think I am the best thing since the iPad 12 and my dog will do this dance whenever I come home from work. Life will be swell.

Please ignore the fact that this was the house used in the most upsetting film ever, Marley & Me

Of course, I am well aware that the goal mapping session today was probably just about the next five years, and I've thought of that too. In the near future I will *whispers* be a graduate, crippled under student loan debt (around thirty-three grands worth), I'll be back living with my parents and begging for a job at any opportunity. I will have split-ends that can be seen from space and I'll still rock out to One Direction's latest album when I'm alone in my car - causing thirteen-year-old's to stare at and then judge me (this legitimately happened to me last weekend). Now if that image doesn't excite you, then I don't know what will.

Happy 2015, everyone; time to shake what your mumma gave you!
~ Eleanor xo

The person you become in a nightclub

Mindy Lahiri is goals

I don't know about you guys, but the person I turn into when I enter a discotech is largely down to the kind of mascara I'm wearing. If it looks as though I'm having trouble blinking because my eyelashes are so heavy, I'm probably wearing what I like to call: my slutty mascara. Or as some people call it, Maybelline Scandaleyes mascara. Or as my google search has just pointed out, Rimmel Scandaleyes mascara. If you ever wondered why I'm not a beauty blogger, I think you just found your answer; I don't even know what brands I use. Let's just gloss over that minor mishap, after all, I am currently drinking the most expensive vanilla latte in existence because the dick-wad barista decided to overcharge me and I'm so livid I can barely see. But I digress; my point is, this Rimmel mascara (nailed it) guarantees massive fat-ass lashes that look the bomb in photos. So much so that I haven't de-tagged myself from a truly atrocious photo that appeared on Facebook last week simply because my lashes are killing it and I want everyone to know. #TrueStory #Blessed.

So yes, slutty mascara = I've made an effort, I'm excited and I'm ready to partay... except in the case of last week when I had what can only be described as the worst night-out ever. Clearly the guy who thought it was hilarious to come up to me and mimic my 'resting bitch face' knew, even by midnight, that tonight was not the night he was getting laid so gave up and began acting like a giant douche-bag to soften the blow.

On that same night I made a new friend in the form of a blonde fresher, I'm going to go ahead and assume she was a fresher simply because she couldn't stop swaying and then couldn't seem to comprehend why I was drying my arm, even after I told her twice that someone had spilt their drink all over me. Eventually it seemed to click and she reacted as though I'd told her I'd been shot. Which to be honest, is a very fair reaction seeing as my new Zara top took the blow. Vodka is for drinking, not for pouring over brand new £30 chiffon Zara tops. Or Primark flats; but I lost that four quid simply by buying the shoes, let's be honest.

I'm not being a nightclub hater; the only things I really hate on are wine gums and incense candles *tries not to vomit*, because there are some great times to be had: you can weasel your way around getting a much drunker friend to buy you a beverage of some kind, maybe even a double if you're feeling adventurous, you can scream the entirety of 'what makes you beautiful' into your BFF's face as she does the same to you, and you're pretty much guaranteed to get some if that's what you're after. Unless of course you're one of those people that refuses to believe when someone tells you they aren't available. Basically what you're telling me is that even in my nightclub finery, I could never be anything more than a hump-and-dump situation. Yes, I may be wearing my slutty mascara but that's where it ends, my friend. And if we're being honest, if someone decides to make up that they're not on the market just so they don't have to get with you, maybe it's time you went home, ate a pot noodle and had an existential crisis of your own. Still, who can really say chivalry is dead when the guy finally stops telling you "you're lying" and trots off to try his luck with one of your friends. Forget holding a door open, this is what a gentleman looks like.

Seriously you guys, all I want to do is dance to Taylor Swift and wear sweatpants while I'm doing it. Kind of like a really hip grandma. Is that so much to ask?

~ Eleanor xo

PS, while googling synonyms for 'hump and dump', I found some amazing alternatives: "wham bam and thank you maam", "nail it and bail it", "smash it and dash it" and the king: "tap the ass and hit the gas"

What it's like being 7311 days old (or 20 years and 1 week)

As most of you are probably well aware, it is terrible. You see before you a girl with a chipped manicure, rocking a 'just-taken-out-plaits' hairstyle, who possesses a pink iPod nano with Ashley Tisdale's unfairly overlooked debut album, 'Guilty Pleasures', ready to blast through her car stereo on the drive home from work. It's possible we have an epidemic on our hands. Or a pandemic. Or just a general emic because I don't really know what any of those words mean... Let's just go with 'code red'. Or perhaps more fittingly, 'code grey', because that's what I've been fearing I will find stacked on my head when I look in the mirror every morning after I wake up.

Truthfully, on the day after my birthday I really believed I'd woken up with wrinkles. But as it turned out, I'd just fallen asleep with my make-up on and decided to smush my face into my pillow so as to make myself look as unattractive as possible. At least there's still part of me that's lazy enough to be classed as a teenager. I can't remember if this was also the night I had a dream where my neighbours ginger cat bit me on the face. Not that this is relevant, but as a certified old person, I'm now supposed to bore you by going off on strange tangents.

The day itself was obviously a lot of fun - as birthdays should be! I was awoken at six in the morning by an interesting rendition of 'happy birthday' sung by my mother; who also, being a total joker, decided to sing the line "happy birthday to someoneeeeeee" instead of inserting her own daughters name. Classic hilarity from Mrs Potter. We then preceded to play a game I would like to call "Mum can you stop telling me how much you think I'm going to like each present it's practically the middle of the night and my eyes aren't able to fully open". My parents gave me a silver star charm for my Thomas Sabo bracelet; receiving this gift is a moment I will probably always remember, obviously because it's beautiful but also because when I opened it, my mum looked me straight in the eye and went "because you are a star". Couldn't sing my name in the happy birthday song though, could she?

This all went out the window when four days later I picked out a truly gorgeous rose gold Marc Jacobs watch that would be, as we say in our family, my 'main present'. I'm still so in awe of it's beauty that I keep forgetting it is actually a time telling device. Brains AND beauty, what a catch. And just to blow this whole thing even more out of the water (I don't think I've used that saying right), the rose gold on the watch matches my rose gold iPhone 5S. I cannot tell you how much of a first world white girl I feel. It's an exhilarating experience to say the least.

Once I'd got past my midday "oh my god there's something wrong with my knee I can't move I've officially reached old age this is the end" anxiety attack, I was able to continue celebrating myself - with more presents (shout-out to my adorable best friends who proved once again just how well they know me *cough* chocolate fingers *cough*, and to my boyfriend for the really sweet gifts of my favourite things - including a new MASSIVE Yankee candle that the pyromaniac inside me can't wait to get back to uni and burn baby burn), and a Smarties birthday cake - courtesy of my boyfriends family because they're the sweetest people ever. Sadly the day ended with me in tucked up in bed early, ready for work the next day - and for those of you thinking to yourself that I would've done the same thing even if I didn't have work early in the morning, to you I say, shhhhhhh.

Now it's a whole week later and the world looks no different (which is good because it means I'm not losing my sight), and to be honest, I don't really feel any different. I still have trouble getting up in the morning, I seem to be getting worse at making toast, and I'm just as atrocious at driving as ever. I did voluntarily clean my room yesterday though so make of that what you will.

Thank you so much to everyone who wished me a happy birthday and/or sent me cards and gifts; you guys are the best.

~ Eleanor xo

PS. You'll be pleased to know I completed 9 of the 19 things I'd planned to do this year. Most disappointing of all was my failure to keep my cactus plant alive. Better luck next time. Maybe.