I'm a Graduate!

Greetings dear ones, the person typing this is officially a university Bachelor of Arts graduate! (She's also full of pasta because she just consumed her own body weight at an Italian restuaurant because immense hunger took over). She also has some pretty hefty war wounds on her feet. She also needs to stop talking in the third person. Weirdo.

Graduation day was kind of insane, and frankly, passed way too quickly. It's all a bit of a blur and before you know it you're piling back into your car (full of Italian food) wondering where the day went and how you'll ever walk again.

From what I remember, it went a little something like this: you arrive, a tiny lady dresses you in your robes, she puts on your cap (it's really tight), you get professional photos taken (it's really awkward), you're ushered out, you explode with excitement when you see your friends, you pose for more photos (so so many photos), you leg it through the rain, you get registered, you find your seat, you sit and listen, you get called up, you concentrate on remembering what you name is and how to walk, you get given a degree (and in my case, a surprise Digital Marketing award), you sit through the rest of the ceremony, you clap (a lot), you parade out, you take more photos, you throw your cap in the air, you have some 'champagne', you say goodbye, you slip into your flat shoes and grumble about how you've never felt pain like this, you return your robes, you leave, it's over. You feel almost bereft.

But let's not dwell on how much I wish I could relive the day, here's a few fun tidbits for you:

Things they don't tell you about graduation that you have to learn the hard way:

1. Robes are really sodding heavy and will take any opportunity to strangle you

2. Attempting to pee whilst wearing said robes is a Herculean task

3. You don't suit hats

4. The ceremony is actually really long and you're clapping the success of people you've never heard of

5. Everyone else will give in an wear flats while walking across the stage. You'll realise too late.

6. It's actually quite stressful

7. You will want to cut your own feet off at the end of the day

8. You'll feel really emotional when they play a showreel of life at the university

9. Hosting a ceremony when there's a gale force storm going on is not ideal #StormBarney

10. It'll remind you how much you miss spending everyday with your best friends

11. You'll be too nervous to eat, but once the scary part is over, you'll be so ravenous you can barely stand 

12. You have no idea whose hand you're shaking

13. You'll be forced to wear Ugg boots to the office the next day because that's all your feet can manage

And finally: 14. It'll be a day you will never ever forget.
~ Eleanor xo

What's In My Bag: Graduation Edition

Dress | Heels | Bag | Watch | Nail Polish | Perfume

THE DAY IS FINALLY HERE! MY UNIVERSITY GRADUATION! The most important, exciting, enthralling, exhilarating, nerve-racking day I will ever live through. Well, until the next most important exciting, enthralling, exhilarating, nerve-racking day I will ever live through.

I've experienced an array of emotions in the lead up to this day; one minute I feel I may explode from excitement, the next I want to hide away in a distant cave over the anxiety that someone may show up wearing the same dress as me. Gulp.

And even better than that, my weather app is telling me with no uncertainty that it will be bucketing it down with rain when my friends and I will be teetering around on skinny heels, with bare legs and make-up that will almost certainly run at the mere sight of a rain drop. I'm such a positive thinker, I know.

So in preparation for a such a historic day, here's what I'll be taking with me:

1. Clutch bag: for holding all those necessities (while my parents carry everything else, duh!)
2. A nail file: because broken nails equal sad face emoji.
3. Heels: I'll be wearing these until I can take the inevitable pain no more.
4. Make up: so I can touch up on the go. Bad gal lashes are the bomb.
5. Fluffy socks: for post-ceremony comfiness (keeping it seasonal with snowflakes, yo).
6. Flat shoes: I mean, do I even need to explain why these will be kept close to hand... or feet?
7. A snack: because if Jennifer Lawrence has taught me anything, it's that one should always be properly fed.
8. Perfume and lip balm: these just seemed like a good idea. And they're tiny so they fit in my bag.
9. Hair ties: for when my lion mane gets too much and a top knot becomes needed.
10. A selfie stick: admittedly hugely embarrassing, but how else are we going to get the best selfies?
11. Umbrella: because my weather app tells me it's going to rain. -sob- Also, I live in Britain so, obvs.
12. Hand sanitiser: lots of hand shaking will be going down today and germs are not invited.
13. Phone: so I can tweet about how excited I am and how dope I look in this mortarboard #LOL
14. Hair grips and safety pins: for attaching my cap to my head and my sash to my dress.
15. Paracetamol and plasters: things to patch me up while I try not to weep.

And once the ceremony is over, the photos are taken and all other festivities are complete (and my cap and gown are begrudgingly handed back -boooo-), I will most likely be nursing painful feet and chilly limbs - but don't worry, I've got all that covered too (in the form of cosy sweatpants, fluffy socks and an oversized hooded jumper)... What can I say, I like to be prepared.

Wish me luck, everyone!
~ Eleanor BA (Hons) xo

Don't leave home without: The Fresher Essentials

If you're preparing to fly the nest for the first time and your mum is anything like mine, she'll already have bought you a duplicate of everything that currently sits in your home. You may be wondering why all this is necessary, but soon it'll all become clear. Except perhaps why you need not one, but two different salad serving sets. That never does make sense.

Here's what I deem as fresher essentials, for the "first time away from home"er:

1. A baking tray
Yes, everyone will have one, but they're pretty easy to scorch/melt/inflict irreparable damage on, so, better safe than sorry.

2. A first aid kit
Sure, you'll feel like a total nerd having a homemade kit in your drawer, but you'll be grateful for the industrial sized pack of paracetamol after particularly heavy nights of *ehem* 'studying'.

3. Bulk buying non-perishable food
Foods that you can store in a cupboard, use at will, and feel safe in the knowledge that the use by date is no less than five years away is super handy to have, but it can be quite expensive to buy, so nick it from your parents while you can. Don't listen to what anyone else says, you can never have too many tins of baked beans.

4. A mattress protector
Your halls won't provide one but you will absolutely not want to sleep on a bed without a protector. Not to put you off or anything, but how often do you think these mattresses get replaced? (I think one of my friends said they had three on their mattress at one point).

5. Stationery
You are there to go to lectures, after all.

6. Laundry stuff
Because your mum is X amount of miles away and she can't do it for you. Make sure you bring a laundry basket, a clothes horse and any other washing material you may need. My mum packed me an iron. I think I used it about once in my entire three years. Ain't nobody got time for that.

7. Extension leads
Because plug sockets are either non-existent or in the weirdest, most unhelpful of places.

8. Clothes hangers
Because unlike a hotel, hangers for your clothes are not supplied. Half my clothes had to be folded because I forgot hangers. It was a dark time.

9. Things that remind you of home
Like photos, mementos, posters or general knick-knacks that you can plaster all over your bare, magnolia coated walls (using Blu-Tack that'll forever leave a mark).

10. A printer
An expensive addition but potentially more helpful in the long run. Especially when you want to print off notes or presentation slides and the university library wants to charge you five pence per sheet for the privilege.

And don't forget, if you're bringing along a television set, be sure to buy a TV license, otherwise you could land yourself in hot water.
~ Eleanor xo

*If in doubt, pack your mum in your suitcase too. She'll know what to do.

Saying "au revoir" to university and a general life update

To quote one of the best american television shows of all time (and one I feel did not deserve to ever be cancelled), 'Pushing Daises', "the facts were these...":

1. I have officially finished university forever, for good, for always, never to be revisited again (assuming I pass all my assignments that is. Gulp.)
2. I am going to take on the big bad world of grown-uphood.
3. I am a teeny-tiny bit terrified out of my mind.
4. Only a teeny-tiny bit.
5. That's a lie.

So now you've got the general gist on just where I am with my life ('panic attack central', if you want the technical name for it), I feel I probably should've started with a "Hello! I know it's been a thousand years but yes, I am still around". How are you, how's life, what's been happening?

If you've been sitting in front of your laptop for the last few months weeping to yourself because this blog looks like a metaphorical wasteland, where digital tumbleweeds roll past every so often (that's not a thing, but it totally should be), I am here to wipe away those tears and to birth some exciting news! Soz about using the word 'birth' in this context, feels a bit weird, doesn't it?

So what's been happening I don't hear you ask! Well, what hasn't been happening?! No seriously, I've spent so long cooped up inside writing my dissertation that I have fully lost all grip on reality and how to function as a normal human being. Absolutely no idea what day it is, or, following the recent election mumbo-jumbo, who is in fact, in control of the country.

I'm just kidding, I know it's still Dave - though he has full control now so if he starts decreeing we all send our kids off to a reaping for a Hunger Games style event, I'm shipping myself off to Peru. (I've chosen Peru because I just watched the Paddington film and it looks like a delightful place!)

But I digress; as this new updated layout hopefully conveys, there have been some changes happening around here. Namely, I now have the time to actually devote to doing this whole blogging thing justice. And that's what I'm going to try to do. (See earlier: "exciting news").

So here I am, inviting you to hop aboard the Eleanor-train and come along with me to face the triumphs, trials and tribulations of life as a (soon-to-be) advertising graduate, who spends most waking moments fighting the urge to squander her minuscule life savings on a one-way ticket to Paris. And the remaining waking moments on attempting to become Jennifer Lawrence.

I hope you enjoy the ride. And I hope I do too.
Opa!
~ Eleanor xo

Things I would rather do than write a dissertation

~Inspired by this post, from 'I Wore Yoga Pants To Work'. She's hilarious and just gets it~

In case you weren't already aware, I am in the midst of writing the world's greatest dissertation. Not even I believe that, but I am writing a dissertation so that part is true. As surprising as I know you'll find this, dissertation writing is an excruciatingly awful experience and I kind of want to cry all the time. 

What I once thought was going to be the coolest thing ever to write ten-thousand words about, has become the absolute bane of my life. I no longer care why brands use social media and frankly, I wish they'd stop so I wouldn't have to write any more about it.

Last week my lecturer told me to do with my dissertation what I felt was best because after all, it's "my baby". How twisted is that!? That's enough to get teenage pregnancies down for real. Something inside me told me not to reply "well, I deeply regret having this baby and I'd like to give it back, please and thank you". In all honesty, I don't think a real baby would be as needy as this thing is - the hours I have to devote to keeping it happy! The tantrums it throws when I don't format things correctly or type too fast. It's a nightmare. And the lack of sleep? Don't even get me started.

What would I rather do than read five-hundred page research method textbooks and write ten-thousand words? Anything. Literally anything. But more specifically:

1. Attempt to untangle my iPhone headphones after they've been stuffed in my bag all day
2. Have a conversation with Justin Bieber where neither of us is allowed to use the word "swaggy"
3. Shave my legs every single day
4. Listen to someone tell me why voluntary gluten-free living is the future 
5. Talk to my parents about sex. Just to give you some perspective, my dad calls it "bonking"
6. Listen to a song where the lyrics simply repeat my least favourite word over and over
7. Get stopped at every single red traffic light when I'm already late for something
8. Be cast as "the unattractive friend" in some kind of advertising commercial
9. Be cast as someone who has a problem with their 'intimate area' in some kind of advertising commercial
10. Buy tampons on a day where all the people working in the store are seventeen-year-old males 
11. Walk around blissfully unaware that I have toilet roll stuck to my shoe 
12. Scroll through my Facebook News Feed to find it full of engagement posts, while in a fight with my boyfriend
13. Comfort someone who's going through some kind of crisis that I can in no way relate to
14. Have my phone volume permanently on 'loud' and change the ringtone to "S&M" by Rihanna
15. Sit in a room for an hour with twenty cats. *shudders*
16. Get nail polish remover in a cut on my hand
17. Have the god-awful woman who does the voice-over for the Spotify adverts narrate my entire day
18. Be lectured on why I should absolutely not shake my booty to that "Blurred Lines" song
19. Give a dramatic reading of the exchange of texts that ended my last relationship
20. Tell people via my blog that I got dumped by text. Nailed it.
21. Upload a slideshow of every Snapchat I've ever sent onto Facebook

I was also considering including "watch someone snap all of my High School Musical DVD's and CD's in half", but I don't think I'm quite that desperate. Yet.

To everyone who is currently feeling my pain, don't give up, we can do this! As Lily Potter (the fictional character, not one of my distant relations) once said: "Harry, be safe, be strong!". Now, let's all join hands and sob together.

~ Eleanor xo

So where do you see yourself after university?

Today I managed to avoid attending a 'goal mapping' workshop held by my university, where I'm guessing they encourage you to map out your life goals. If that isn't the case then I suggest they consider renaming it because otherwise that's very misleading.

My main man, Troy, gets it. Also, is this where my obsession with boys in v-necks started?

Goal mapping? GOAL. MAPPING?! I can't even envision where I'm going to be next Tuesday, let alone in five years time. Who needs a life plan when you're able to function each day by doing laundry when you run out of underwear, can live off pasta and strange concoctions of things you find in your fridge until you can motivate yourself into going to the supermarket and watch videos of Jennifer Lawrence on Youtube when you're feeling sad. Fear not, university lecturers, I've got this. No I will not uncross my fingers.

And excuse me, but I've just weathered my way through three weeks of "So what year of university are you in now? THIRD YEAR?! Gosh, well hasn't that gone fast, I thought you were only in your second year! So what is it that you hope to do after?". This is usually where I seize up and contemplate faking a choking fit so I can avoid answering. Instead I have to force a small laugh and say "hopefully find a job". You'd think that would satisfy them but no, for some reason every single person remotely related to me feels the need to ask "do you have any idea where you'd like to work?". Well obviously not! If I can't choose which scented candle I want to buy next, how do you expect me to know where I want to work for the rest of my life? And then all of a sudden it's totally unacceptable to reply "well, somewhere that'll pay me money!". The truth is dropped. Cue end of conversation. Cue me wiping my brow with my jumper sleeve where numerous beads of sweat have appeared. Exit stage left.

Just this morning I was sitting absentmindedly in bed enjoying my breakfast and 'Elders React to Anaconda' (hilare video, please watch it), when I began choking on my Shredded Wheat. I'm talking full on, eyes streaming, can't breath, retching, pain, agony, certain death, choking. And all I could think was "I knew the coco-pop craving I woke up with was telling me something". Listen to your heart, kids, otherwise you'll choke. Apparently. (I am going to be the world's best mother, I know).

Still, I found it highly ironic that I woke up being all like, "ain't nobody got time for life spoilers, ride the waves, go with the flow, always wear clean underwear, life is what you make it!!!!!" and then I basically nearly died. Just a normal day, really.

The truth is, I know exactly where I want to be in the end. In a gorge country house with a thousand Yankee candles burning all at once, a custom made coffee syrup storage-cupboard in my kitchen and the Ferrari I drove in 2013 sitting in my driveway. JK Rowling will release a new series of books about a far more interesting Potter who took the advertising/PR/social media world by storm and finally dyed her hair a majestic golden-honey colour. I will be content in my life because I will have eventually worn down my husband into agreeing to re-enact the 'gotta go my own way' scene from High School Musical 2. My children will think I am the best thing since the iPad 12 and my dog will do this dance whenever I come home from work. Life will be swell.

Please ignore the fact that this was the house used in the most upsetting film ever, Marley & Me

Of course, I am well aware that the goal mapping session today was probably just about the next five years, and I've thought of that too. In the near future I will *whispers* be a graduate, crippled under student loan debt (around thirty-three grands worth), I'll be back living with my parents and begging for a job at any opportunity. I will have split-ends that can be seen from space and I'll still rock out to One Direction's latest album when I'm alone in my car - causing thirteen-year-old's to stare at and then judge me (this legitimately happened to me last weekend). Now if that image doesn't excite you, then I don't know what will.

Happy 2015, everyone; time to shake what your mumma gave you!
~ Eleanor xo

What to do when someone completely ruins your entire university career

Some people may've spent their day helping the world move one step closer to curing cancer, some may've learnt about how the world came about, I however, at the ripe old age of 20, learnt that my lip genuinely quivers when I try to stop myself from crying. Who's winning here? Probably not me.

I swear this time I am not being dramatic. This is not like the time I turned my phone off for three days to avoid telling someone that I didn't "feel the same way", or that time I was unable to get out of bed because the aftermath of finishing reading the Twilight books and facing up to the crippling reality that I would never find a sparkly vampire who would rather die than be without me, was all too much. This time I am in super serious existential trouble.

The kind of trouble that makes you want to call your mum and sob down the phone to her for a while, before realising that perhaps you should've opened with the line: "I'm about to start crying, but it's not because I'm pregnant". But I digress, for I have found myself in a completely unforeseen predicament (that does not involve a pregnancy). Upon meeting my new dissertation supervisor for the first time, I was told that the way I write does not flow, and needs a lot of work. Ok, so this may not seem like a big deal, but for me, the world ended. I instantly felt like throwing up and crying all at the same time - kind of like a drunk first year who's still having the time of their life because they have not had their life's work crapped on.

It was extremely difficult not to do this while I was still in her office

I'm trying to describe this in a way that is not pompously egotistical, which I'm realising now is kind of difficult, but the simplest way to put it is like this: in school, some people excel in sports, some excel in music, I somehow, was rather gifted at writing essays. It's like a party trick but more boring. Throughout school, college and about 60% of university I was led to believe I could write essays; just last week I was told that academically, I write 'really very well'. And considering this new supervisor was reading the same piece of work, I have to question what happened. Did my choice of words insult her? She circled the word 'sound' rather vigorously which makes me wonder if there's something deeper going on. I also noticed (while concentrating on a spot on her desk so as to try to stop myself projectile vomiting), that there were no personal touches - is this woman even who she says she is? Is she an impostor who showed up to stomp on the dreams of final year students who are only just starting to figure things out?

I am insinuating nothing...

Who can be sure? But she definitely doesn't think I can write. Or I can, but it makes absolutely no sense when I do. And it would appear that I have attached so much of my self worth onto the knowledge that I can write, that I now feel as though my life purpose has been struck from me. Kind of like how Troy felt in High School Musical 3 when Gabriella went off to Standford without him. *Starts humming the tune of 'Right Here, Right Now'*. Obviously, he fixed that by stalking her to her college and dancing with her under a tree, but I don't think that would work in quite the same way for me.

When life tragedies such as these occur, I find immense comfort in the words Katy Perry spoke to me (and about twenty-thousand other people) this past summer: "whatever you're going through, just know that Katy Perry goes through crap too".

But for real you guys, I am dealing with this just fine.
~ Eleanor xo

The person you become in a nightclub

Mindy Lahiri is goals

I don't know about you guys, but the person I turn into when I enter a discotech is largely down to the kind of mascara I'm wearing. If it looks as though I'm having trouble blinking because my eyelashes are so heavy, I'm probably wearing what I like to call: my slutty mascara. Or as some people call it, Maybelline Scandaleyes mascara. Or as my google search has just pointed out, Rimmel Scandaleyes mascara. If you ever wondered why I'm not a beauty blogger, I think you just found your answer; I don't even know what brands I use. Let's just gloss over that minor mishap, after all, I am currently drinking the most expensive vanilla latte in existence because the dick-wad barista decided to overcharge me and I'm so livid I can barely see. But I digress; my point is, this Rimmel mascara (nailed it) guarantees massive fat-ass lashes that look the bomb in photos. So much so that I haven't de-tagged myself from a truly atrocious photo that appeared on Facebook last week simply because my lashes are killing it and I want everyone to know. #TrueStory #Blessed.

So yes, slutty mascara = I've made an effort, I'm excited and I'm ready to partay... except in the case of last week when I had what can only be described as the worst night-out ever. Clearly the guy who thought it was hilarious to come up to me and mimic my 'resting bitch face' knew, even by midnight, that tonight was not the night he was getting laid so gave up and began acting like a giant douche-bag to soften the blow.

On that same night I made a new friend in the form of a blonde fresher, I'm going to go ahead and assume she was a fresher simply because she couldn't stop swaying and then couldn't seem to comprehend why I was drying my arm, even after I told her twice that someone had spilt their drink all over me. Eventually it seemed to click and she reacted as though I'd told her I'd been shot. Which to be honest, is a very fair reaction seeing as my new Zara top took the blow. Vodka is for drinking, not for pouring over brand new £30 chiffon Zara tops. Or Primark flats; but I lost that four quid simply by buying the shoes, let's be honest.

I'm not being a nightclub hater; the only things I really hate on are wine gums and incense candles *tries not to vomit*, because there are some great times to be had: you can weasel your way around getting a much drunker friend to buy you a beverage of some kind, maybe even a double if you're feeling adventurous, you can scream the entirety of 'what makes you beautiful' into your BFF's face as she does the same to you, and you're pretty much guaranteed to get some if that's what you're after. Unless of course you're one of those people that refuses to believe when someone tells you they aren't available. Basically what you're telling me is that even in my nightclub finery, I could never be anything more than a hump-and-dump situation. Yes, I may be wearing my slutty mascara but that's where it ends, my friend. And if we're being honest, if someone decides to make up that they're not on the market just so they don't have to get with you, maybe it's time you went home, ate a pot noodle and had an existential crisis of your own. Still, who can really say chivalry is dead when the guy finally stops telling you "you're lying" and trots off to try his luck with one of your friends. Forget holding a door open, this is what a gentleman looks like.

Seriously you guys, all I want to do is dance to Taylor Swift and wear sweatpants while I'm doing it. Kind of like a really hip grandma. Is that so much to ask?

~ Eleanor xo

PS, while googling synonyms for 'hump and dump', I found some amazing alternatives: "wham bam and thank you maam", "nail it and bail it", "smash it and dash it" and the king: "tap the ass and hit the gas"

The things you learn in Holland (about yourself and everyone else)

In the midst of severe procrastination and with a packet of just opened (which means half have already been devoured) Cadbury's chocolate fingers next to me, I am here to chat to you about my (not so recent) journey of self discovery. It's true, the journey ended about two weeks ago but I've been a little busy catching up on the season finale of Pretty Little Liars (oh em gee, am I right?!) and trying not to inhale the large quantity of Milka I bought home for various people I like, to catch you all up to speed on my life. Sadly, my plan to give a load of Milka to my boyfriend in the hope that he'd get the hint and share it with me, horrendously backfired. He took it home still unopened. I wept.

So, the story is this: at the beginning of March, myself and five other Brits packed our bags and headed over to the land of Nether- wait, that sounds wrong; we packed our bags and went to Holland (better), for a two week long international advertising project. Sounds pretty snazzy, right? Sharing a cute little hotel (owned by a fearless Dutch woman whom we loved) with six other European countries, we began plotting our uprising; spent the two weeks working in seven different groups creating fully fledged campaigns for different brands. Most of which we'd never heard of. No sweat.

My first time flying with FlyBe was... interesting. I hadn't been in a propeller plane for some years and having a seat next to the propeller that initially wouldn't start was somewhat unsettling. Still, for a while all I could picture was my mum sitting next to me tutting and comparing every single thing to how British Airways would do it - she's a devote BA flyer so this brightened my mood considerably. To be honest, when we landed in Amsterdam I wasn't truly convinced that we'd left Britain at all because we were faced with, wait for it, rail replacement services. Yes, really. For some time I was marginally convinced that this was just a British conspiracy by the government to piss everyone off but I see now that MI5 do have better things to do than mess with us all and it's a Europe wide problem. So, I forgive you National Rail. For now. 

Finally, nine hours after our expedition began, we arrived in the town of Bergen and our adventure began. And after a dinner of vegetarian lasagna, I knew this trip was going to get wild.

So what exciting Netherlandy wisdom do I have to impart on you? Well, I could write you a book, but I won't, because I'm lazy; but most importantly, if you get taken on a tour of a quaint, historic, serene Dutch town, do not be surprised if you end up in it's red light district unannounced. I still have to rub soap in my eyes to try and remove the images of the things I saw that day. Our tour guide described it as one of the "most popular" streets in Alkmaar. You don't say. 

On most days I felt as though it would be less obvious if I actually walked around holding a sign saying 'tourist', but let's be honest, this is half the fun - I mean, it's not like we get cute rivers and landscapes in England, it's all tower blocks and badly spelt graffiti. True, it adds character, but usually a character with abnormally large private parts. And I can't see Boris jumping to show that at Heathrow. The thrill I got from referring to my friends as 'Team GB' and saying stuff like "I am British" was embarrassingly massive. I tried learning some Dutch but instead all I learnt was that I'm terrible at languages. Still, I once found myself in an in-depth conversation comparing euros and pounds so maybe that counts. 

Things I learnt through this trip:

1. I'd be the worlds worst language teacher. I'm not even sure if I speak English correctly anymore.

2. I may have caused every single person there to think that Brits legitimately use the words 'swag' and 'swaggy' as adjectives...

3. At first I thought dutch boys were really cool. And then I realised that they all look exactly the same and it freaked me out a bit. If you want the new One Direction, you'll find them in Holland.

4. Once you start quoting Bridesmaids with your bestie everyday for two weeks, it becomes increasingly difficult to stop

5. It's true, you never forget how to ride a bike; but you sure will be rusty (and nothing will be funnier than seeing your friend ride into a ditch)

6. I need to be in a country where "bless you", "excuse me" and queuing are actually a thing. The lack of these things made my eyes twitch vigorously.

7. Dutch food is actually pretty good  

8. My sarcasm was probably taken offensively and I wouldn't be surprised if some of them wanted to chase me with a pitchfork

9. Nothing is more upsetting than being surrounded by multi-lingual individuals. I want to bitch in a secret language too!

10. I spent 87% of my time complaining about the Dutch bus system and how ridiculously expensive it is. 

11. At the peak of tiredness I managed to slide out of bed head first, go over my neck and land face up on the floor. And once I punched a shelf.

12. No matter where I go, someone will always pick up on the Potter thing. It almost felt like home.

13. HOLLAND IS SO INSTAGRAMABLE. And their extortionately priced buses come with wifi!

14. Lauren and I had many in depth discussions as to why the country has very few plug sockets. We've still yet to reach a viable answer.

15. And perhaps most importantly; the Europeans know how to get cray and partay

I had the most amazing two weeks; I got to bond with my fellow Team GBer's and took more selfies than I have in my life (I blame you, Lauren). We worked our cute little behinds off during the project and learnt so much. The whole thing was an experience I will never forget and I can sleep easy knowing my mum is not going to disown me because I did bring her back some Gouda. And what trip is complete without the purchase of a 'Netherlands' Starbucks mug?

~ Eleanor xo

A (terribly written) summary of Second Year so far

So I've kind of been the worst blogger ever these last few months, I'd use the excuse that I've been super busy working on assignments and studying like a pro (which of course, I have been...), but really, I've been suffering from 'these last blog posts received really good feedback and now I'm scared I'll never be able to match that level of greatness again!' anxiety. BUT, Christmas cheer now carousing through me and holiday merriment all around, I am back! And a hearty hello and Feliz Navidad to you all - That's my Spanish GCSE being put to use, how excellente.

Now, I know you've all been wandering around worrying about what's been happening to me and if I've somehow been eaten by a rabid grizzly bear (a common occurrence in the South of England); and for that, I apologise - if you were all with me now, I'd take us to Starbucks and buy you all pumpkin spiced lattes and perhaps we'd even have a singsong of all your favourite Christmas carols. But, to the main reason we're all here: an update on Eleanor's super exciting, adventure filled life*!
(*'super exciting, adventure filled' content not guaranteed)

(Re)freshers tomfoolery

September:

• I moved into my new house with 6 of my course mates. On our first night there was a power-cut and we had no idea what to do... good start
• I enjoyed freshers week all over again - this time with all of my favourite people around, which made it so much more fun!
• I started second year (this is probably obvious, but I just thought I'd include it for good measure)

Ikea famous, dessert bars are my second home, my new bedroom all decked out, happy Halloween bitches

October:

• We unofficially adopted the neighborhood cat and named him George. He's a total cutie and flirts with everyone. He fits in well with us.
• Two of my housemates and I ended up modelling for Ikea and had our own catalogue cover printed. The paparazzi are gonna turn up any day now...
• I enjoyed visits to Southampton's ever growing population of dessert bars with my friends. I estimate I've consumed more than my body weight in Nutella, and I couldn't be more thrilled.
• Many more nights out were had; including a Circus themed Carnage event. I decided to go as a 'black panther'. Yes, I basically just bought some cat ears from Topshop and went with it. Still counts.
• Halloween festivities were had with my housemates - pumpkin carving and spooky decorations for the house itself - oh and I also watched Saw for the first (and last) time

Pancake day, sunny day in Southampton, marketing field trip, I AM A MODEL

November: (when I was listing the months I actually forgot about November. Wow. Are we sure I'm uni material?)

• Managed to prove I am a Windows girl for life by accidentally changing the desktop background of one of the Uni Mac's to a guys mouth whilst trying to save it to my documents. It was actually slightly terrifying.
• Spent a chilly Saturday working on group assignments with my friends (and by working I mean playing pranks and making pancakes, obviously)
• I became a Starbucks gold level member! Hallelujah!
• I scored tickets to my future wifey's concert at the O2 Arena in May! (Of course I'm referring to Katy Perry, for those of you who don't know about my undying love for this piece of human perfection)
• Braved trekking beside a motorway to achieve authentic research for my marketing assignment. Admittedly, the Harvester meal afterwards was a big motivator and nothing will beat holding hands with my friends and running across a motorway slip-road praying we make it to the other side with all our limbs still intact.
• Got my picture in my university's prospectus and became the face of our advertising course. So yeah, I'm basically the next Kate Moss.

Secret Santa 1, Turducken, Secret Santa 2, PARTY CAT GEORGE

December:

• I finally got to start the Cadbury's advent calendar my mum bought for me in October. Though some of the messages written on the doors are slightly unsettling, even for a 19 year old...
• I found out that I am the best thing since sliced bread because I made it onto that Netherlands trip I was waffling about - read my ramblings here
• 6 weeks after organising it, three of my friends and I held our very own secret Santa meal at Frankie and Benny's. Laughs were had, carbs were consumed and gifts exchanged. I'm rubbish at keeping secrets, especially when they involve such exciting things, but we managed not to blurt out who we each had so overall it was a success!
• Tried 'turducken' for the first time at our house Christmas dinner and participated in another secret Santa. A merry time was had by all - including George the party cat who rocked a Christmas cracker hat
• Handed in my first two assignments of the year and celebrated by, of course, visiting another dessert bar. I provided entertainment by somehow smearing Nutella all over my face; nobody has time for table manners when there are waffles involved!
• And on Friday 13th, my pet cactus and I packed up and headed home for the holidays! 

So there you have it, my last 4 months at uni summed up in a nice neatly presented list complete with exclamation points to present my enthusiasm. And I hope, dear reader, that you have had an equally tremendous few months and that you make the most of these last few weeks of 2013... I don't know, jump out of a plane or something!

I've missed you all very much, 
your pal,

~ Eleanor xo

The Impossibility of Writing About Yourself

So, here I am, in the midst of writing a 150 word personal statement, attempting to impress a panel of esteemed judges, most of whom I'd like to imagine look like Simon Cowell, (complete with high-waisted jeans and boxy haircut), into agreeing that I am in fact the best thing since sliced bread, and therefor should be selected for this highly prestigious two week long trip with my university to The Netherlands next March. And I could not be having a worse time.

I've been putting this off for over three weeks and I need a complete, readable, not-totally-sarcastic version to send off ASAP. And this is all I have to guide me: "write a 150 word statement introducing yourself and outlining your skills, abilities, interest areas and personal qualities". Have you ever heard anything more impossible?!

Of course, I started by contemplating whether it would be acceptable to simply write "I am amazing" with a very serious full stop for emphasis. But then I thought, it might need something more. So I tried "I am really amazing" - no-one can ignore such a powerfully confident adverb. But I was still unsure.

I am horrendously egotistical when it comes to myself in everyday life, but when it comes to super-serious, potentially career making stuff, I've got nothing. I mean sure, I know all the lyrics to every single Taylor Swift song and I can locate the nearest Starbucks from 5 miles away... But, am I a good organiser? Can I hold a conversation? If I had an idea could I stand up in a crowd and shout it at the top of my lungs? 

Most importantly, am I who they want?

Suddenly my palms are getting sweaty. It kind of feels like I'm 13 again, trying to find the courage to tell the boy I fancy how I feel; the crippling fear of him rejecting me and running off to laugh with his friends, strong in my stomach. *shudder*

Shoving my childhood-induced anxiety aside, and after much umming, errring and general "why am I such a boring human being?", I completed my 150 words and pressed send on a carefully constructed email... Which has probably gone straight into the recipients spam folder, if my luck is anything to go by.

Here's to positive thinking, chaps!

~ Eleanor xo

How to survive Freshman Year

Own it like you're Sharpay Evans

University is pretty much the biggest and scariest thing I've ever done. I know everyone probably says that, but I had turned 18 a matter of weeks earlier and suddenly I was getting shipped off to a town 50 miles away to learn the art of advertising, and most importantly, fending for myself.

The whole experience ripped me straight out of my comfort zone and dropped me into a sea of entirely new people, and entirely new experiences -- and though I spent more nights than I'd care to admit wishing to be anywhere else, I wouldn't change any of the last year; I learnt far too much to be ungrateful for the situations I found myself in.

So, here's a list of 10 things I learnt last year (in the form of advice points, apparently):

1. Talk to everyone
At university, everyone is new so everyone's trying to make friends and fit in; so straight from the off, be open, friendly and positive about everyone you meet. On my first day of university I promised myself I would do just this, and now, a year later, I'm living with two of the girls I met that very first day (and a third is one of my closest friends) - anything can happen!

2. Say YES. But also no.
There are so many new opportunities at university - take them all! But if you want to stay in and watch a movie or have an early night that's ok too! Missing one party will not ruin your university experience. Don't believe all the peer pressure bullshit, please. 

3. Your old friendships will change. It's ok. Let them.
If you move away, you can't expect your friendships with people you left behind to stay the same. It's not realistic and it's not fair. You're living different lives now; you will always be BFFs (because that's what you scribbled into birthday cards and notebooks) but you have to understand that the dynamics will change and you may grow apart. Skype your bestie as little or often as you want - don't totally cut off your old friends, but give each other breathing room and your relationship will feel better for it. 

4. Do not simply eat ready meals
They aren't nutritional and they will ruin your skin and probably give you mood swings or something. Cook every once in a while - I am a terrible cook but I had a lot of fun dancing around the kitchen whipping up some crazy food concoctions. Don't forget your veggies either!

5. Long distance relationships CAN work
Admittedly, this didn't quite work out for me, but a bunch of my friends succeeded in keeping their relationships alive and happy - and why not? If you're committed and you know it's what you want, there's absolutely no reason why it shouldn't work. Unless they're a jackass. Wait, what.

6. Sadness and heartbreak bring out the greatness in you
Sorry for the downer, but this right here is the honest to god truth. Being out in the world on your own will be tough, and you will spend nights crying into your pillow blaring Adele or something equally depressing into your ears. But this is the greatest motivator. And I know this from experience. I went through some really hard times, but I came out of it with amazing grades and amazing friendships. Your heart will heal and the storm will pass.

7. Call your parents!
My parents did a lot for me leading up to university (buying stuff to fill my dorm room, giving me food and rent money, etc.) and though uni is about spreading your wings and flying the nest, don't forget what's important. I skyped my parents every Sunday evening to catch up and it was always so nice to talk to them and see familiar faces - this ritual was super important to me, and it should be to you too (though, not every week if you don't want to)

8. Go home
To relax, to de-stress, to see old friends, or to simply have a bath; there are so many reasons why every once in a while, you should go home for the weekend. Your mum will do your washing and you can lie on a sofa and have your meals made for you - this is a great way to recharge after weeks of deadlines, or hardcore partying.

9. Missing deadlines doesn't make you cool, it makes you look like an arse
Yes, when you miss a deadline, everyone in your class knows about it. And no, they don't all clap in unison because you've become the bad boy/girl partier who's too cool for school, they sigh and mentally write your name on the list of people to avoid working on group projects with. If you have the stamina, by all means go out 8 days a week, but don't ignore your work because you will look dumb and people will treat you like it.

10. Finally, HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!
This is your new life, go out and live it! Make new friends, take some shots, break some hearts (including your own) and take as many pictures as you can on your iPhone because these are the days you will always want to remember (especially when you're old and can't boogie like you used to).

If you're going to uni this year, good luck and enjoy every minute!

~ Eleanor xo