Friday, 27 December 2013

The worst aspects of my personality

I spend a lot of my time complimenting myself. Not in an egotistical "wow I'm the most beautiful human being to ever walk the planet, bow down bitches" way, but for some reason I find myself believing that if I say cool things about myself for long enough, maybe one day someone will turn around and agree that yes, I am swagtastic. Here's to hoping.

Throwing aside my obvious personality winners, which include (but are not limited to), being an exceptionally talented writer (*cough cough*), really rather brilliant at remembering all the lines to Pixar animation films - to the point where I can recite them backwards, in my sleep, in Spanish; and not forgetting my ability to ignore all my problems and pretend my life is going swimmingly. But even I can admit that I'm not perfect. Practically perfect, yes, but not completely - something Mary Poppins and I have in common... isn't that swell.

But let us observe: Eleanor's Personality Downfalls:

1. Eleanor is ridiculously easy to make jump

Bet you all thought I'd stop after the first 4 words. Maybe you're sad I didn't...

2. Eleanor cannot make decisions

The worst thing you can ever ask me: "So, where do you want to go for dinner?". I imagine it'd be easier for me to climb Mount Everest in shorts than it would be to answer this question.

3. Eleanor constantly wants to eat
I don't have a defense for this, I just really like food.

4. Eleanor has this idea that she needs to 'fix' things... that aren't actually broken
You haven't told me you love me for 24 hours therefore that means you hate me therefore I must fix this and force you into wanting me again whether you like it or not.

5. Eleanor has an ability to procrastinate to the point where she is unable to function

Like now, for example, when I should be working on my marketing assignment (hashtag ooops)... If I'm totally honest, I'm still rather unsure how I managed to blag my way through First year.

6. Eleanor is strangely vengeful
When I was younger a lot of the people I sometimes fell out with (aren't I a delight) had nut allergies, so if they pissed me off, I went home and ate peanut butter sandwiches... and scowled a lot. Now I'm more into plotting the downfall of said pisser-offer and throwing stuff around my bedroom.

7. Eleanor has very expensive taste (she blames her sister)

And getting a £150 Ralph Lauren voucher for Christmas from said sister is not helping anything (but buckets of thanks for the uber generous gift, sis. You're awesome.)

8. Eleanor is worse than a starving lion when she is without sleep

Much like the events witnessed in the Hunger Games, you never know what you'll face if you attempt to talk to me whilst I'm running on empty. I may cry, I may laugh, I may fantasize about feeding you to a wild jackal, and there's only one way to find out...

9. Eleanor assumes that people understand her sarcasm and therefore has not just made someone contemplate jumping off a cliff because she made a joke about their t-shirt...

10. Eleanor never stops complaining

Actually, that's not true. Sometimes I'm asleep.

11. Eleanor thinks she's ghetto

See earlier paragraph in which I described myself as 'swagtastic'.

12. Eleanor tells people what her best asset is, rather than letting them decide for themselves

FYI, it's my bum. But I hope you already knew that.

13. Eleanor cannot go anywhere without alerting the world to her whereabouts or how much fun she's having

See twitter and instagram feeds for pouting selfies, filtered landscapes and spelling-mistake-ridden drunkeness - all in the name of "I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE!!!!!!", when really, I'm probably not.

And apparently, Eleanor now talks in the third person. But, I have to admit, when I started writing this post I thought I'd only end up with a list of about three points... perhaps Eleanor is not as swagtastic as she thought...

~ Eleanor xo

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

A (terribly written) summary of Second Year so far

So I've kind of been the worst blogger ever these last few months, I'd use the excuse that I've been super busy working on assignments and studying like a pro (which of course, I have been...), but really, I've been suffering from 'these last blog posts received really good feedback and now I'm scared I'll never be able to match that level of greatness again!' anxiety. BUT, Christmas cheer now carousing through me and holiday merriment all around, I am back! And a hearty hello and Feliz Navidad to you all - That's my Spanish GCSE being put to use, how excellente.

Now, I know you've all been wandering around worrying about what's been happening to me and if I've somehow been eaten by a rabid grizzly bear (a common occurrence in the South of England); and for that, I apologise - if you were all with me now, I'd take us to Starbucks and buy you all pumpkin spiced lattes and perhaps we'd even have a singsong of all your favourite Christmas carols. But, to the main reason we're all here: an update on Eleanor's super exciting, adventure filled life*!

(*'super exciting, adventure filled' content not guaranteed)

(Re)freshers tomfoolery
  • I moved into my new house with 6 of my course mates. On our first night there was a power-cut and we had no idea what to do... good start
  • I enjoyed freshers week all over again - this time with all of my favourite people around, which made it so much more fun!
  • I started second year (this is probably obvious, but I just thought I'd include it for good measure)

Ikea famous, dessert bars are my second home, my new bedroom all decked out, happy Halloween bitches
  • We unofficially adopted the neighborhood cat and named him George. He's a total cutie and flirts with everyone. He fits in well with us.
  • Two of my housemates and I ended up modelling for Ikea and had our own catalogue cover printed. The paparazzi are gonna turn up any day now...
  • I enjoyed visits to Southampton's ever growing population of dessert bars with my friends. I estimate I've consumed more than my body weight in Nutella, and I couldn't be more thrilled.
  • Many more nights out were had; including a Circus themed Carnage event. I decided to go as a 'black panther'. Yes, I basically just bought some cat ears from Topshop and went with it. Still counts.
  • Halloween festivities were had with my housemates - pumpkin carving and spooky decorations for the house itself - oh and I also watched Saw for the first (and last) time

Pancake day, sunny day in Southampton, marketing field trip, I AM A MODEL
November: (when I was listing the months I actually forgot about November. Wow. Are we sure I'm uni material?)
  • Managed to prove I am a Windows girl for life by accidentally changing the desktop background of one of the Uni Mac's to a guys mouth whilst trying to save it to my documents. It was actually slightly terrifying.
  • Spent a chilly Saturday working on group assignments with my friends (and by working I mean playing pranks and making pancakes, obviously)
  • I became a Starbucks gold level member! Hallelujah!
  • I scored tickets to my future wifey's concert at the O2 Arena in May! (Of course I'm referring to Katy Perry, for those of you who don't know about my undying love for this piece of human perfection)
  • Braved trekking beside a motorway to achieve authentic research for my marketing assignment. Admittedly, the Harvester meal afterwards was a big motivator and nothing will beat holding hands with my friends and running across a motorway slip-road praying we make it to the other side with all our limbs still intact.
  • Got my picture in my university's prospectus and became the face of our advertising course. So yeah, I'm basically the next Kate Moss.

Secret Santa 1, Turducken, Secret Santa 2, PARTY CAT GEORGE
  • I finally got to start the Cadbury's advent calendar my mum bought for me in October. Though some of the messages written on the doors are slightly unsettling, even for a 19 year old...
  • I found out that I am the best thing since sliced bread because I made it onto that Netherlands trip I was waffling about - read my ramblings here
  • 6 weeks after organising it, three of my friends and I held our very own secret Santa meal at Frankie and Benny's. Laughs were had, carbs were consumed and gifts exchanged. I'm rubbish at keeping secrets, especially when they involve such exciting things, but we managed not to blurt out who we each had so overall it was a success!
  • Tried 'turducken' for the first time at our house Christmas dinner and participated in another secret Santa. A merry time was had by all - including George the party cat who rocked a Christmas cracker hat
  • Handed in my first two assignments of the year and celebrated by, of course, visiting another dessert bar. I provided entertainment by somehow smearing Nutella all over my face; nobody has time for table manners when there are waffles involved!
  • And on Friday 13th, my pet cactus and I packed up and headed home for the holidays! 

So there you have it, my last 4 months at uni summed up in a nice neatly presented list complete with exclamation points to present my enthusiasm. And I hope, dear reader, that you have had an equally tremendous few months and that you make the most of these last few weeks of 2013... I don't know, jump out of a plane or something!

I've missed you all very much, 
your pal,
~ Eleanor xo