My New Years Resolutions: 2016

I am notoriously awful at making, keeping, fulfilling and actually remembering my New Years Resolutions. I haven't bothered to attempt to make any for the last two years (that is, if we don't count the small mental note I always seem to make to myself to try and eat a little less. "Think of biscuits as drugs, Eleanor. JUST SAY NO").

Still, this year, the big twenty-sixteen, I am entering January as the dictionary definition of 'adult'. I'm probably totally incorrect here because I've never actually looked up the dictionary definition of adult, but I digress. In Eleanor's Dictionary (available at all good make-believe bookstores), an adult is an individual who:
a) Remembers running headlong down the middle of a road on the night of the last millennium
b) Is fulled by caffeine
c) Walks through a park when it's dark and is certain they're going to get mugged by youths
d) Is in the process of replacing every polyester blouse in their wardrobe with 100% cotton shirts
e) Talks about the weather constantly
f) Has an actual real life job and enjoys reminding people of the fact as often as possible
g) Wonders why their car isn't locking as they continually press the 'unlock' button on their keys

So, as a real life adult, here are my adult-proof resolutions:

1. Learn to talk slower

(Sub note: learn how to pronounce my own name correctly)
Talking fast is a habit I picked up after watching a large number of American teen shows and movies. At first I was all "this is so cool no one can keep up with what I'm saying and I look awesome", now I'm all "how many times do I need to repeat this ONE SENTENCE SO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING JESUS CHRIST". So I figure it's probably best to train myself to talk slower and then I won't have to repeat myself twenty times and everybody wins. Huzzah.

2. Read more
It's been three years of forcing myself to read through ginormous textbooks on everything from advertising, to market research to the psychology of a brand. AKA soul destroying stuff. Now I actually have my life back, I'm going to use my time to indulge in fun fictional reading. Also, I spend a large amount of my time each day sat in front of a mahoosive iMac screen, so being able to do something other than that is probs good for my health, eyesight and general well being.

3. Have a proper clear out of all my shit
When you spend three years with essentially two homes, you accumulate a hell of a lot of crap. I've been back home for just over seven months now and I still have half my stuff in boxes/stowed somewhere it shouldn't be. I need to fix that. Probably by stopping myself being a hoarder and actually keeping what I need and dumping what I don't. Famous last words.

4. Get my #GirlBoss on 
I'm the kind of person who wants everyone to like them so much that I try not to upset the peace by demanding stuff from people. However, I am paid to get shit done. Therefore I must make sure I am not afraid to do whatever is necessary to get said shit done.

Wishing you all a totally swagalicious 2016 (definition of which can be found on page 743 of Eleanor's Dictionary). Keep it real.
~ Eleanor xo