The Strangest Things About Staying in a Hotel

So I stayed in a hotel a few weekends ago (how quickly time doth fly), and as this is something I don't often do, I'm always surprised by how strange the concept really is. I mean, in what universe is it the done thing to fall asleep with a breakfast menu right next to your head? And why does the window only open to about a centimetre wide when there's clearly more chance of me suffocating to death through lack of fresh air than there is of me trying to jump out of it? But let us observe...

1. Someone makes your bed for you
Obviously, we all semi make our beds before the maids arrive because we cannot bare the thought of them thinking we're complete slobs.

2. Sometimes you get free toiletries
One hotel I stayed at had The White Company toiletries in the bathroom. Obviously, I stashed them ALL.

3. Having a key card to open your door
I never allow myself to be chief key-card guardian as I'm petrified I'll lose it. Oh real keys, where for art thou?

4. Feeling like the security surrounding keeping the tiny kettle attached to your room is greater than any kind of security the hotel has for its guests

5. Having a kettle in your room, full stop
People would think you a bit odd if you kept a kettle in your room at home (and frankly, rather lazy), but in a hotel? Why, it's expected! It wouldn't shock me if people demanded refunds on rooms that came sans-kettle.

6. Everything is labelled
The windows, the doors, the pillows, the soap, the TV, everything! It's like the owners think you're an alien from another planet who doesn't quite know what a pillow does.

7. Sometimes you get toilet roll with a pointed tip
Hats off to the people trying to make me feel hella fancy when I'm doing my business.

8. Being offered a 'turn down'
TURN DOWN FOR WHAT *do do do dooo*. There's nothing odder than a man turning up at your door asking what time you'd like to be turned down. When this happened to me, I didn't actually know what it was so I just said "umm, about seven-thirty?".

9. Getting bathroom envy
It doesn't matter where you go, you will always wish the bathroom you find was your own. Unless of course, it's gross.

10. There are never ever any plug sockets
Why are there only ever two plug sockets in your hotel room when you have seventy-five gadgets to charge? And why are they always in the most unhelpful of places? It's like they want to force you to talk to the person you're with, or alternatively, remind you how alone you are.

And don't even get me started on the incredibly awkward foxtrot that is, room service. Yikes.
~ Eleanor xo