The worst aspects of my personality

I spend a lot of my time complimenting myself. Not in an egotistical "wow I'm the most beautiful human being to ever walk the planet, bow down bitches" way, but for some reason I find myself believing that if I say cool things about myself for long enough, maybe one day someone will turn around and agree that yes, I am swagtastic. Here's to hoping.

Throwing aside my obvious personality winners, which include (but are not limited to), being an exceptionally talented writer (*cough cough*), really rather brilliant at remembering all the lines to Pixar animation films - to the point where I can recite them backwards, in my sleep, in Spanish; and not forgetting my ability to ignore all my problems and pretend my life is going swimmingly. But even I can admit that I'm not perfect. Practically perfect, yes, but not completely - something Mary Poppins and I have in common... isn't that swell.

But let us observe: Eleanor's Personality Downfalls:

1. Eleanor is ridiculously easy to make jump
Bet you all thought I'd stop after the first 4 words. Maybe you're sad I didn't...

2. Eleanor cannot make decisions

The worst thing you can ever ask me: "So, where do you want to go for dinner?". I imagine it'd be easier for me to climb Mount Everest in shorts than it would be to answer this question.

3. Eleanor constantly wants to eat
I don't have a defense for this, I just really like food.

4. Eleanor has this idea that she needs to 'fix' things... that aren't actually broken
You haven't told me you love me for 24 hours therefore that means you hate me therefore I must fix this and force you into wanting me again whether you like it or not.

5. Eleanor has an ability to procrastinate to the point where she is unable to function
Like now, for example, when I should be working on my marketing assignment (hashtag ooops)... If I'm totally honest, I'm still rather unsure how I managed to blag my way through First year.

6. Eleanor is strangely vengeful
When I was younger a lot of the people I sometimes fell out with (aren't I a delight) had nut allergies, so if they pissed me off, I went home and ate peanut butter sandwiches... and scowled a lot. Now I'm more into plotting the downfall of said pisser-offer and throwing stuff around my bedroom.

7. Eleanor has very expensive taste (she blames her sister)
And getting a £150 Ralph Lauren voucher for Christmas from said sister is not helping anything (but buckets of thanks for the uber generous gift, sis. You're awesome.)

8. Eleanor is worse than a starving lion when she is without sleep
Much like the events witnessed in the Hunger Games, you never know what you'll face if you attempt to talk to me whilst I'm running on empty. I may cry, I may laugh, I may fantasize about feeding you to a wild jackal, and there's only one way to find out...

9. Eleanor assumes that people understand her sarcasm and therefore has not just made someone contemplate jumping off a cliff because she made a joke about their t-shirt...

10. Eleanor never stops complaining
Actually, that's not true. Sometimes I'm asleep.

11. Eleanor thinks she's ghetto
See earlier paragraph in which I described myself as 'swagtastic'.

12. Eleanor tells people what her best asset is, rather than letting them decide for themselves
FYI, it's my bum. But I hope you already knew that.

13. Eleanor cannot go anywhere without alerting the world to her whereabouts or how much fun she's having
See twitter and instagram feeds for pouting selfies, filtered landscapes and spelling-mistake-ridden drunkeness - all in the name of "I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE!!!!!!", when really, I'm probably not.

And apparently, Eleanor now talks in the third person. But, I have to admit, when I started writing this post I thought I'd only end up with a list of about three points... perhaps Eleanor is not as swagtastic as she thought...

~ Eleanor xo